The holidays are over, now what? After the fun and chaos of the season, it can be challenging to get back into routines, but that’s exactly what’s needed to relieve stress, restore calm and help your family return to a regular schedule. In general, waking up, eating, playing and sleeping are the defining elements of children’s routines. The sequence matters more than the time allotted to each activity. Familiar toys or blankets, foods and consistent care schedules all matter when returning to routines because they’re comforting and restorative.
Here are some tips to help ease you back into your routines:
- Routines need to maintain interest, so find meaningful ways to give your child choices with boundaries. For example, offer your child two options before bedtime: “Would you like to play before your bath or after?” Then at bedtime, ask them if they’d like to read a book or make up a story together.
- Talking with children about routines as “just the way we do things” can reduce power struggles over who’s the boss of what happens next in the day, including when to go to sleep. Take time to help your child learn how routines can help their body and mind. When discussing sleep you could say: “Our bodies relax, grow stronger and hold our memories when we get enough sleep. And we feel good afterward, instead of feeling like a grumpy bear!” (Or mommy before caffeine.)
- As your child gets back into the rhythm of routines, see where you can ease off a little bit so that they can work on autonomy and self-control. That doesn’t mean leaving your little one in total control. It’s about giving them options so that they feel like they have control over their day. Some flexibility is appropriate but be sure to set the order of activities and stick to them as much as possible. You know your child best, so you can determine when to be flexible. It may not matter if they brush their teeth before or after breakfast but changing when they go potty could completely shake up the routine and your day.
- Establishing routines early on is important, but it takes time before we recognize the pattern. As you feed your baby when they’re hungry, change them when they’re wet and put them to bed when they’re tired, you’ll soon notice these routines fall into place naturally. Your child will begin to eat when they’re usually hungry, begin to play when they’re usually social and begin to drift off when they’re usually sleepy. To push a different schedule too early means you’ll spend far more time managing meltdowns than you would spend building and maintaining routines. When routines are well-established, children will self-direct these activities and find comfort in knowing what comes next.
The holidays are equal parts exciting, magical and overstimulating. Traveling, seeing family and new expectations in different places can interrupt established routines. As your life settles back into its usual self, stick to your tried-and-true routines. Some wiggle room is okay, but when you’re working on re-establishing, you can’t relinquish too much “control” because your child needs familiarity. For children who split time between two homes, having similar shared routines will help children learn to adjust quickly to the different home environments. Before you know it, the holiday chaos will calm, and your regularly scheduled chaos will resume (raising littles always comes with a little)!
